Nükhet & Celal Ersoy : Secrets of Happy Marriage
Gaziantep College Foundation Chairman of the Board of Trustees Nüket Ersoy, who is also known for his humanistic personality, said that marriage was sensual at first, but; He says that marriage is an institution based on friendship and friendship in the long run, but also requires mutual sacrifice...
Nüket Ersoy, who hesitates to mention the date of her marriage with her husband Celal Ersoy as the evil eye, underlined that marriages made at an early age cannot be long-lasting; “People who marry young see marriage as rosy . They live in dreams and then they make a lot of mistakes.”
“I am against marriages made at very young ages”
“The harmony of families was very important in old marriages. Agreeing in marriage is very important. Marriage should be based primarily on friendship and companionship. Marriage may be sensual at first, but in the long run it is friendship, companionship, sacrifice. For this, great sacrifices fall on the spouses. Think about it, you have 2 children, but their characters are very different...
Their tastes, palate tastes, in short, everything is different. However, marriage is a very special rapprochement of two different people who grew up in separate environments from two different families. Marriage is therefore an institution that requires great sacrifice. If you want permanence in marriage, fifty-fifty percent sacrifice in a civil marriage. My mom and dad were like that. They were a very happy couple . My father would say okay to some things my mother said... My mother would say okay to some things my father said. Marriages with one-sided sacrifice are not happy marriages. In my opinion, 60 percent of the sacrifice in marriages should be done by women. If a man makes 40 percent of the sacrifice, in my opinion, that marriage is a happy one . I am also against marriages made at a very young age. Because people who get married at a young age see marriage as rosy. They live in dreams and then they make a lot of mistakes. I was young when I got married but today's young people are very smart now. Young people today tend to get married at the age of 25-30. As such, they lay the foundation for a good marriage by acting more selectively and rationally.
I was engaged to my wife Celal Bey for 1 year. We got married a year later. During the times when my wife and I were engaged, we could see each other once or twice a month due to her job. Before the wedding, we never had a problem so that this should be taken. Our wedding was held in the municipality. Our wedding took place in the club below the current Teacher's House.”
“Let them either study or get a job before they get married”
“Another piece of advice for young people is to study or start a business before getting married. This is true for both boys and girls. Life is difficult nowadays... It is very difficult to live on one's earnings. Since marriage is a friendship and a long-term union; Since I say that sacrifice in marriage should be fifty-fifty, then the gain should be fifty-fifty. Turkey is still a women's paradise today... Nowhere in the world is there as much comfort as women in Turkey. Whether the husband of a Turkish woman is a garbage man or a doctor, the woman stays at home, the poor men always work. If women in Europe and America are seeking their rights, women are also working there. Our women don't know this yet. Our women sit at home and eat both the bread and the beating of their husbands. For this, our women should also acquire a profession, work and contribute to the family budget. I think this is another important factor that brings happiness in marriage…”
“There is no point in prolonging your marriage if you are not happy”
“If you do not have a happy marriage, there is no point in insisting on making that marriage necessary. Because life is too short. If couples are unhappy and want to break up, they should do so on time and, if possible, without having children. A child is a very important thing for a family. The children of broken families will be very unhappy in the future. That is why it is very important for our children to grow up in a happy home. It is very difficult for young people to raise children in today's world if they are unhappy.
If they can't agree, there's no point in prolonging it. Everyone should draw their own line.”
“Not everyone can be happy; because happiness too an art”
“We have never had children, but my husband and I have never had a problem. I am a person who believes that God gives people the best in everything. God gives a child to some, but gives something else missing. I also turned the absence of children into a blessing. God did not give us children and we saw this as a gift from God. God did not give us children, but God gave us other opportunities. As you can see now, we have thousands of children. I never thought that I did not open my hand to God and say to give us a child. I want people to be happy with what is offered to them and to know how to be happy. Not everyone can be happy because happiness is also an art.