Solutions for stress situations that may occur during the marriage preparation process
The marriage preparation process is a period in which problems that can cause all kinds of different stresses can occur. In this process, we tried to examine the ways to deal with the problems that you may encounter.
Although the decision to marry often starts with great happiness , it is a fact that it starts stressful days afterward. In addition to the stress brought by the wedding preparations , the effort to make other family members happy can create small or big tensions. It is a fact that every couple longs to be able to get through this period with the least amount of trouble and less stress.
First, remember that you and your future spouse were brought up in different family cultures, even if you think you are made for each other. Each family's approaches to education, culture, customs and traditions and their economic perspectives are different from each other, albeit more or less. By accepting this from the beginning, meeting family members with whom you will start to establish new relationships should enable you to change your expectations and your perspective in conflict situations.
It is important that you are really ready for marriage, it is also necessary for the continuity of the marriage that you do not make a decision to marry without feeling really ready. The World Health Organization (WHO) accepts the age of transition to adulthood as 25.
After the marriage decision is made, how long the wedding day will pass, preparations and shopping to be made can cause stress. Every reaction shown in the face of stressful situations is actually aimed at adapting to change. Problems can be overcome more easily if methods of coping with stress can be used during preparations.
Brides Compete With Each Other
Invitations for brides , such as henna organizations and bachelorette parties , whose budgets and scope have been growing in recent years, turn into competition among brides and this can be a problem. Although it is not noticed much today, the main purpose of such invitations is the gathering of friends and the implementation of rituals for customs and traditions. It is appropriate to look at such invitations from the point of view of mental preparation for marriage. In hennas, bachelorette parties or similar invitations, the meaning of the event can become very harmful when it turns into a competition between young girls instead of 'celebrating marriage'. Expenditures, time and energy consumed for preparations can cause tension between couples and families.
Solution suggestions for bride-mother-in-law problems
Brides :
- The time will surely come when you will enter the family more warmly. Be careful not to get into the family too much during the interview, promise or engagement period. Meet with his family, but other than that, live your relationship only with your boyfriend during this period.
- Remember that silence or silence is never the solution. Respectfully express a situation that is causing you discomfort
- Do not try to solve every problem you have by complaining to your spouse. You should also share a problem with your mother-in-law with your mother-in-law, not your spouse.
- Do not look at relationships by making prejudices in your mind. Always try to form your point of view without prejudice.
Grooms :
- What you need to make your mother feel about your relationship is that you are living your own life, that you make the decisions in your relationship with your spouse, and that you will come to her when you need it.
- Never choose between your spouse or your mother. In stress situations, try to find a solution by considering both sides separately. Remember, your wife and mother will always have a special place for you.
- Do not worry about the possibility of your mother upset, remember that the most important thing for your mother in any situation will be your happiness.
Mother- in-laws:
- You should give new couples time to get used to each other and their families.
- Try to see your son's wife as your daughter rather than as a bride.
- Try not to create prejudices, have not heard the words spoken about brides in society and listen to your heart.
- Instead of reacting as soon as you sense a problem, give your children an opportunity, they will consult you when they need your motherhood.
Ways to deal with stress before marriage
Mind method:
- Abandoning an all-or-nothing perspective of thinking that sets up perfectionist expectations
- Don't give up thinking that it happened to him, then it will happen to me by making generalizations from other people's relationships.
- Avoiding negative situations by always focusing on the positive
- Don't stop reaching big and clear conclusions from small events
Behavior method:
- Planning; to plan in advance about the work to be done, to schedule the work and time
- Reviewing our level of knowledge; Do I have enough information to solve or interpret the problem?
- Asking for help, asking for help getting a job done
- Talking to the stressor or avoiding the stressful situation
- Increasing mutual communication by trying to rest more
- Spending quality time with activities to enjoy instead of spending these months with the hustle and bustle of weddings, focusing only on marriage preparations
Emotional method:
- Confidence in yourself and people
- Being sure of what you want without changing your mind frequently,
- Reviewing the level of expectation frequently, giving up the impossible
- Deciding whether you want to be the most righteous or happiest in marriage